What is your definition of a man?

Went to a clinic this weekend and a very successful coach, who I know and like, was talking about philosophy. He said that his goal as a football coach was to build a man, everything else would take care of itself. His definition of a man was... doing something for others/ to be of service to others. Some of the other things that he mentioned was that in his weightroom, they are building enthusiasm not "freakish" people. They lift for 1 hour a day but five days a week. He said he wanted them there 5 days a week because a man works 5 days a week and is a parent everyday of the week. Thoughts?

• A man does what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, as well as it can be done, and he does it that way all the time.
• Honest, hard-working. And able to give yourself an honest look and change negative thoughts/actions that can keep you from being the best (person, coach, dad, husband, employee, employer, etc.) you can be.
• Someone who can take responsibility for their actions
o Someone who will do what is necessary and possible to get better
o Someone who has respect for their life and the lives of others
o Someone who understands that life is more about "you" than it is about "me."
• I really appreciate what that coach offers as a definition of a man. There are a lot of boys in our culture of coaching, but when it comes to manhood, in my opinion, it has little to do with age.
o Manhood starts when you realize that life, and how it should be lived, is not about you, or for you. It doesn't mean you don't care for yourself and the needs you have, it means that you understand that your God-given talents and gifts exist for those you have the privilege of knowing and serving.
o I may aspire to be the best at something, but the only reason it would really matter is for the one benefitting from what I do. If I want to the be best QB coach, I don't get a certificate, or a trophy, if there was such a thing, I just get another opportunity to ask myself the hard question that a real man must answer every day of his life.
o Is it worth it to get up one more time and go do what I must for someone else?(ie. a kid, a business, a school, a wife, a child, etc.) And by the way, the chances are, you won't be thanked; you might get paid, but it won't be enough; you will likely experience some level of physical, or mental, suffering as you do it, and you will probably go unnoticed in the effort. But, you still must decide...is it still worth it? Oh, and one other thing, you will likely have to give up something you really want to be doing instead of that thing you are deciding to do, and you will most assuredly have to keep making that decision in that context, every day, for the rest of your life...still worth it?
o This is by no means an easy, or readily accepted, thought process by males in our society, as they often don't get past the first question, much less down to the "rest of your life" thing - the hard ones, but those we respect the most as men in our lives, have made it to the bottom of that decision tree, and do so on a regular basis in their lives.
o They have cracked the code on the truth that there is no greater fulfillment in life for a man, than to give themselves away for something bigger, and more important, than themselves.
o This is the core truth that remains unchanged in the greatness of this game, and in the greatness of a man. There is no sport, in my opinion, where this fact of, its not about you, is more readily tested, than between the lines in every facet of practice, preparation, and on game day.
o Forget what the sportswriters attempt to do in drawing attention to one man over another, it still comes down to whether or not you, as a player or coach, are willing to do what is necessary to make sure that the guy next to you succeeds.
o The scores, stats, and records have slowly placed an ever thickening plaque of self promotion in the arteries of the heart of the game, and like the body part, it can lead to diseases of every kind in the adult stages of life(pros), but at the levels where youth is still learning to crack the code of what matters most, there are still those epiphanal experiences we get to enjoy as coaches, when you see the corners of a kid's mouth rise in a knowing smile, and he understands what must be done - he has to give more, and he decides he is okay with that.
o The most depressing part of this process is seeing how many kids are missing the value of this kind of selflessness, playing the game their entire career thinking that talent is actually what makes a man great, never realizing that all that talent really does is make a man famous, and those are two entirely different concepts. Greatness is imputed to someone by others, because they know the man, fame is when people know of the man.
o Fame is easy, greatness requires suffering. The sacrifice through self-denial of a kind that doesn't even know it is denying itself. That kind of pure determination and love in a man's heart that would not consider himself to matter in the decision being made. It only matters who is being helped, and where we are helping them go. This is the kind of manhood that when it is demonstrated on behalf of another, that man who is the recipient of that service will often break down and not be able to finish his testimonial. Why? Because he knows that the man that served him, is the better man, and it is an honor to have had the privilege of his service.
o This is what makes the military what it is, and it is what makes football the greatest game. Men of varying background and color, decide to come together, on behalf of one another, to do something great for each other. The game, when that happens, ceases to be a game, but rather a conduit to the future of what the potential of life can be, when men decide to put away what matters most to them, and devote themselves to improvement of those around them.
o The game will end, but that is just the beginning for the men we are building. If they don't crack the code on this now, they will end up missing what they are here for in their lives. We know where that leads...bad marriages, parents who are nightmares for coaches of the next generation, selfish kids who cannot understand why you won't give them what they haven't earned...and the list goes on.
o Manhood is advanced citizenship in life, and it is not for the faint of heart. There is no 3-a-day practice season I ever endured that can come close to the daily decisions I have to make about my willingness to serve my wife, children, coaches, staff, kids, and basically everyone I meet, and I am afraid that true manhood eludes me on a regular basis, no matter how much I desire to be a better man.
o Maybe I need to don a helmet, and get into a little blitz pickup session as a QB to remind myself that despite the hits I am going to take, I can, and must, get that ball out of my hand. I will never forget how helpful those sessions were in reminding me of my need to put aside my self preservation. Nothing like a little smack in the mouth to remind you what life can be like, and the need to get up and go again.
o I love football...but as a man, I have learned that if I am to truly benefit from what this game wants to teach me, I must learn to move on from my love for this game, to a willingness to love the guys I play with more than I love myself.
• There are a lot of adult guys that still are not a man. i will say that i was one of those until i had my children and then your priorities change and you realize what you have been doing was not important to life. You become selfless and you look to help others and become more responsible. doing right for others
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• R = Respectful to others.
o E = Not afraid to show his Emotions.
o A = Equally Affectionate & Appreciative to his family.
o L = Listen with intent to his wife and kids.
o M = Well Mannered in all life's settings.
o E = Earning his own way through life is paramount.
o N = Neatness, for him everything has a place.
• IF
o If you can keep your head when all about you
o Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
o If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
o But make allowance for their doubting too,
o If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
o Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
o Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
o And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
o If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
o If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
o If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
o And treat those two impostors just the same;
o If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
o Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
o Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
o And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
o If you can make one heap of all your winnings
o And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
o And lose, and start again at your beginnings
o And never breath a word about your loss;
o If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
o To serve your turn long after they are gone,
o And so hold on when there is nothing in you
o Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
o If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
o Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
o If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
o If all men count with you, but none too much,
o If you can fill the unforgiving minute
o With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
o Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
o And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
o --Rudyard Kipling
• So, Robert Lewis decided to lay out his Four Marks of a Real Man: His masculinity is based on faith, not flesh. In short they are:
o A Real Man rejects passivity.
o A Real Man accepts responsibility
o A Real Man leads courageously
o A Real Man expects the greater reward.
• Don’t Quit!
o When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
o when the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
o When the funds are low and the debts are high,
o And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
o When care is pressing you down a bit,
o Rest, if you must, but do not quit.
o Life is queer with its twists and turns,
o As every one of us sometimes learns,
o And many a failure turns about,
o When he might have won had he stuck it out;
o Don’t give up though the pace seems slow—
o You may succeed with another blow.
o Often the goal is nearer than,
o It seems to a faint and faltering man,
o Often the struggler has given up,
o When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
o And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
o How close he was to the golden crown.
o Success is failure turned inside out—
o The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
o And you never can tell how close you are,
o It may be near when it seems so far,
o So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit—
o It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.
• I think many of you have listed many traits a "real man" might well have and/or need. Good question and good answers. But I think you could reasonably say: "I can't define a "real man", but I know it when I see it." Certainly you can list traits, but are they all always neccessary other than having the proper plumbing? Do real men come in many forms?
• A male with peace of mind and confidence to go about his business and in a gentlemanly fashion. Mostly I think being a man is about peace of mind, though. I don't believe age has anything to do with being a man (my favorite book is Ender's Game and in that book Ender and the other characters were definitely not normal children) but there's a reason why I can't consider most teenagers to be men: most have a lot of maturing to do and are a little fragile emotionally (no peace of mind).